The sun is setting. So beautiful; orange, pink, red and purple, it’s as if someone took a brush and painted the sky. The wind blows gently, lifting my hair lightly and pulls at my night gown. The colors in the sky bounce off my white gown. Today was a crazy day. First this morning with Titian, then this afternoon with Titus. Oh, Titus. I’m slightly amused although I shouldn’t be.
I had woken up in my bed. Marie, one of the chamber maids told me that Titian had put me to bed because I fainted out on the balcony. As she helped get me ready for supper, she told me that the doctor had come and instructed that I no do anything too stressful for a couple of weeks; I had suffered from an anxiety attack. Marie is a nice girl. Her parents died of unknown causes, and she was left out on the street. Titian had found her and brought her here to work as one of our maids. She’s rather adorable, petite but stands very tall. She’s a good friend too. I left my room, walking down the long hallway, my mind jumping from one thought to the next. I go down the winding stairs glancing out the windows. It’s lovely; the rays of colors beaming through the partial stain glass. At the bottom of the stairs I make my way down the hall. As I near the door I hear people shouting. Peaking out the doorway my heart nearly stopped. Titus versus Titian. “Shouldn’t you go out and stop them?” Marie asks. She was on her way to the serving table outside to give them tea. “No stress remember.” I retort. “Do you know why they’re arguing? Not that they’d need one.” “You, my lady.” “What!?” “Shhh, my Lady, no stress remember.” If it’s one thing I hate, it’s men fighting over me like some sort of prize. “What do you think you are doing?!” “Shaina, I see you’re up. How do you feel?” What a fake smile Titian has. I look at Titus. “I’m sorry, but I just found out that you had fainted, and my brother is refusing to tell me anything about how your attack came about in the fir-” “That’s none of your business,” I shout sternly. Both Princes stare in disbelief. I couldn’t take it, I exploded. “Did it ever occur to you that it isn’t his place to tell you? And why worry if he didn’t, you could’ve, no should’ve come to me if you were so concerned.” “Shaina, please, calm-” “No Titian, let me finish,” Titian looks as if he’s just been scolded. “Titus, I have supported you for as long as I can remember. We have been through so much together, but… I’m not yours.” “What are yo-” “You don’t know how to share me, not with men at least. I love you, and your brother. He and I share secrets just as you and I do.” I take a long deep breath; my heart is beating so fast. “I just don’t think I can take it anymore… I-I need a break.” I turn and walk away. It’s hard to breathe. Focus, I can’t focus. My legs give out but for some reason I don’t hit the ground. Looking up I see Titian. His lips are moving but I don’t hear anything, every now and then a muffled sound, but that’s it. He turns towards Titus while lifting me up. I glance at my Prince; he looked panicked. Black.
Flowers. Vanilla. A cool breeze. I’m leaning against the base of a huge tree. Very shady. A Weeping Willow, that’s what it is called. There are other big trees around. Out in front of me are wild flowers, they’re scattered. “You look like you’ve had a rough day,” a voice says softly. “This is the second anxiety attack that I’ve had today,” I say looking at the clouds. “So you’re anxious?” she laughs. “Sarca, are you going to poke fun at me?” She giggles and replies, “I was merely trying to lighten the mood. You know how I am.” She comes and leans beside me. “What’s wrong big sister?” “I don’t know where to start,” sigh. “Well, what triggered the first one?” “Nothing really,” I stand up and look out around me, “just got too nervous I guess.” “Uh huh? Nervous you say?” She comes by me. “You’re blushing aren’t you?!” “No! W-What are you smiling at?” “You are blushing!!!” “I think I’m having another attack.” “Liar! Come on, tell, tell!” “Prince Titian kissed me, alright?!” There has never been such a huge smile stretched across her face. “He kissed you! Oh my goodness, what was it like?!” “I fainted remember?” “Nonsense, don’t think you’re getting off that easy. You had to have felt something before that. You can’t hide it from me.” “I-I don’t really know. My heart was racing so fast that I thought it would burst. His face got closer, he closed his deep blue eyes, and then….” “Then?!” “Then we kissed.” “And, did you feel, you know, the spark that everyone talks about?” br> “Not sure, but when his lips touched mine, a sense of calm came over me. I felt safe. But then, it could have been me losing consciousness.” I sit back by the tree. “Wow, your first kiss,” she sits beside me. “Even if it wasn’t under the most romantic circumstances, still it’s wonderful.” “Actually….” “Huh? Oh you, tell!” “It was the early morning, a cool breeze was blowing. I was in a burgundy colored dress. It had a small train in the back and fell off the shoulders to a V-cut. Also, if you add in Titian’s charm, I think that set up a decent mood.” “Indeed,” she’s smiling again, “my big sister is growing up.” “Shut up,” I brush her off me and stand, moving away from the tree. “Hey Shaina,” she calls out while picking at the grass, “what would they think? Of your Princes I mean.” “I don’t know,” and with that I close my eyes and all tings disappear.
After waking up in my own bed yet again, I just stay there, lifeless. As I stare up at the canopy thankful my sister was distracted with my kiss to where she didn’t inquire about my second attack. But still my mind lingered on her last question.
So here I am, ready for bed in my white night gown. Staring off into the sunset, thinking about today’s events. “What would they think,” my mind wanders. I haven’t thought of them in so long. I take a hold of my pendant then look to the sky. The once colorful sky is now blanked with stars. “My mothers, what’s to become of me?”